Blog Blast from the Past: First Heal Thyself

A little blog I wrote when I first started JOHA that applies even more today... just replace 'wine' with 'tequila' ;). Unfortunately I've been barreling through for years without following this ... and I feel completely depleted. Thank God, Bob, Richard, Mary Lou, Levi, my grandparents, anscestors, and any other spectral beings for reminding me I wrote this. And if these few paragraphs lift one person in any little way - even just to make them smile - then I have done good work for the day.

This morning I felt under the weather. I made a bad decision possibly involving late night chocolate peanut butter mug cake ... and maybe some wine. Then I woke up at 2 a.m., got the most brilliant idea for a blog (this is not that blog), started writing it in my head, forgot about my deep breathing trick, and didn’t fall back asleep until seconds before the alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. Or it may have been more like 3:47 a.m. (5 minutes after I last sat up to squint at the cable box clock across the room for the 50^th time), but it sure feels like I’m running on less than four hours of sleep.

So here is some timely advice that I will be following the second I edit and post this, and make corresponding QuoteNotes for today and tomorrow – I’m taking off blogging tomorrow, other than writing one short paragraph about taking the day off.

There is a reason why flight attendants instruct you to put on your oxygen mask before helping others: If you aren’t getting enough oxygen, you’re no help to anyone.

When I start to feel physically, mentally or emotionally run down, my only job is to stop everything immediately, so I can minister to my needs until I get back to my sparkly self.

Only drug companies, charlatans, quacks and scoundrels would encourage you to finish that last load of laundry, or stay at that job where you are belittled and bullied, or remain with someone who is abusive, or just take the darn pill and keep going. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you are required “buck up and power through it,” but those stressful situations should be few, far between, and - when you come out on the other side and look back – they should prove themselves as having been instrumental in strengthening your health and well-being, not depleting it.

I promise you this:  A few hours or days [or four years] of PREVENTION are worth a week/year/lifetime of CURE.

Here are some things I do (or have done) for a speedy recovery:

• Take a nourishing, long, relaxing, therapeutic bath with candles and silence or chill music (I can’t say enough great things about Dr. Teal’s Pink Himalayan Mineral Soak).
• Write a letter or email to someone (boss, coworker, relative, friend) who has hurt you. Then read it aloud and bask in your cleverness and courage ... And then delete it line by line or tear it into little pieces and throw it in the recycling. Please do not send it. I’ve done that (on purpose and by accident) and, believe me, it only causes more stress.
• Inhale and drink a cup of decaffeinated tea or warm water with lemon or bone/vegetable broth a few times a day (right now Yogi Lemon Ginger for my tummy).
• Sign up for an online class to learn something new. I taught myself to crochet by watching YouTube videos years ago (because I couldn’t deal with the structure of knitting, being a hooker is a lot more loosey goosey) and it changed my life.
• Dry your eyes and do something to heal your heart, like play hooky and go to a movie with a dear friend. In August 1982, some guy broke my heart into a billion pieces. It was my very first heartbreak and I was devastated. I can’t remember his name, but I do remember the movie, An Officer and a Gentleman. And that the day actually turned out to be one of my top ten days ever – thanks mom and “Way to go, Paula!”
• Go to the gym and work out, or go for a walk or a swim, or take a yoga class or fool around. Endorphins are proven guaranteed stress crushers.
• Learn your limits and how to say no (without excuses). I’ve finally gotten comfortable with the response, “That really isn’t going to work for me [period].” People are very understanding and receptive, especially if you add an alternative like, “But how about if I/we _____ instead?” If they don’t understand or keep pushing, then just repeat – with raised eyebrows - the no without the alternative. They'll get the message.
• Build yourself an army of positive, supportive, encouraging, authentic, nonjudgmental people – then take at least two, and call me in the morning. Just kidding - don’t call me, call them when you’re blue.
• Practice meditation, calmness and solitude. It’s wonderful if you can actually be still and serene and motionless. I can’t. It only causes me more stress. Even sitting still to get my hair washed causes me to tense up. But I do find that while I’m performing mundane everyday chores (laundry, unraveling a wrap that didn’t work out, organizing clothes and books and dvds), my mind tends to quiet as I concentrate on the task. And that’s a high enough state of consciousness for me.
• Take some over-the-counter medicine based on the ailment – an Advil or Aleve, Pepto Bismal or Alka Seltzer (cold medicine if I have a fever), then put on your most comfy snuggies, get under the covers in a dark room, listen to the TV with eyes closed and, if I’m lucky, nap.
• Visit or volunteer at a hospital or church or retirement home or animal rescue. As long as I’m not contagious, tired or under-the-weather, anywhere I can get out and focus on helping others immediately shifts my gloomy introspection to a bright and shiny outlook.
• Shelve any major decisions. I live by the rule of HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired – if you are feeling any of these, you are susceptible to self-destructive behaviors. So take care of those things first, before buying tickets to Dirty Dancing, The Musical ... actually, that was a lot more fun than I thought it would be, but it was because of the company, not the show.
• Indulge a little by treating yourself to something you wouldn’t normally do or buy: nail polish or a manicure, fast food or a soda, a bunch of fashion or craft magazines, a journal or scarf you’ve been wanting but really don’t need, a visit to a museum or art gallery.
• Watch a movie or series, or read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with anything going on in your life. Period dramas, Sci Fi, superhero, fantasy – unless you actually go to Hogwarts – are all great genres for a brief escape from whatever is ailing you.
• Have someone make you or bring you “comfort” food. My mom used to make me soft boiled eggs and toast when I was sick, but try as I might I can never get mine to taste as delicious and healing as I remember. I do make really yummy bone broth and use it for homemade chicken soup that I freeze to have on hand when I feel a cold coming on (I am an Instant Pot devotee). And I believe a shrimp tempura roll and bowl of miso soup cures just about anything. My go to carryout used to be Boston Market (a quarter chicken dark, mashed potatoes and corn), but I don’t even know if they are still around.
• Break up with him/her then get a new hairstyle. Since August 1982, I have had a spiral perm, highlights, been Priscilla Presley black, Billy Idol blonde, had my head shaved with #3 clippers (I heart GIJANE), been every shade of ginger (and an accidental box bozo red for about an hour) [and gone completely gray. Hairstyle change is a fast fix and if you don't like it, it's only hair and a good lesson of 'this too shall pass.']
• Try to cut out or at least cut back on the caffeine, sugar and alcohol.
• Google a book like one of your favorite reads or suggested by one of your favorite authors (i.e., “books like Game of Thrones” or “books that scared Stephen King”), make a list of a few, then go to your library and give them a try.
• Sit on the couch with a big blanket wrapped around you and do something creative and calming: color, a puzzle, crochet, string beads, try calligraphy, doodle, put together a model.
• If you have to be at work, go somewhere you love for lunch, listen to calming music, see if you can bring in an essential oil diffuser, put your head on your desk with your eyes closed for 15 minutes, get up and stretch and walk around for five minutes every hour, and make sure you don’t overdo it. Any supervisor worth their salt, will prefer a healthy, clear-headed, well-rested, non-germ-spreading employee to someone not taking care of themselves and just taking up space.
• And the number one thing to do: ASK FOR HELP - with the dog, proofreading, cat, transportation, fish, kids, laundry, baths, meals, spreadsheet, putting out the trash, dishwasher, homework, everything. And, if you don’t get it, maybe it’s time to move on and get a new ‘do ;).

Remember, only time and taking care of yourself will heal your mind, body and spirit. So get as much sleep and rest as you need. Pretty soon you’ll be back to your sparkly self.

Finally, please note that I am not a doctor, nurse, therapist, counselor, or a professional advisor on anything. I’m just saying what has worked for me. If the prevention isn’t working for you or you begin to feel worse, I implore you to seek out someone who can help. And if you aren’t sure who to contact or where to start, send a quick email to me at jackohartzart@gmail.com and I will do my best to help.

Thanks for reading and here’s to your health!